MWR GTMO Windjammer Restaurant, in An Effort to Become Only 4-Star Restaurant in Cuba, Narrows Menu Choices

It wasn't enough to be the only sit down restaurant on base open 7 days a week for the Management of the Windjammer restaurant.  Recently a decision was made to pursue the Michelin 4-Star rating for the restaurant.  As a result of this decision, the restaurant decided to narrow its menu choices.  In an interview with management, the restaurateurs said, "In keeping with recent GTMO traditions of reducing choices, we made the decision to emulate the flight and the O'Kelly's operations by reducing our hefty 4 page menu to 2 pages.  We did not make this choice lightly but felt our chef could better concentrate his efforts on achieving the coveted 4-Star rating by making these changes." 

Base residents took the change all in stride.  One base resident even said, "I wish them luck.  I'm looking forward to the day that the Windjammer doesn't run out of nachos.  That will definitely be worth 4-Stars to me."

C-130's Recent Strike to Protest FAAs Slow and Methodical Inspections/Tests of 737 MAX Hurts GTMO Travelers/Residents

The union of C-130 airplanes announced a strike this week.  The airplanes refused to fly to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba despite receiving numerous missions to pick up passengers stranded by Hurricane Dorian.  The C-130 spokesplane stated, "We must stand by our 737 MAX brothers who have been denied the right to fly since March, and we cannot stand idly by while the FAA attempts to repair its damaged reputation." 

When we asked an optimistic resident of GTMO, who had been stranded at a Naval Station along the East Coast about the strike, he said, "Although the strike may have cost me another month of leave and a boatload of money, I just want to thank the union of C-130s for starting the strike while I was here and not there.  As far as the FAA goes, I would like my luggage returned as soon as possible."

Nostalgic GTMO Residents, Upset Over the Decline in GTMO Beaters, Happy With Fewer Road Repairs

If you can say one thing about GTMO residents, they are very nostalgic.  They enjoyed the good old days when flights were prevalent and doors on cars were optional.  So it comes as no surprise that the residents of the base who have recently been upset with the decline in the number of GTMO beaters seen around the base, have expressed their happiness over the conditions of the roads on base.  One old-time resident interviewed said "How do you think the GTMO beater came into existence?  The longer we wait to fix our roads, the more vehicles like the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Van, and The Van from the A-Team we see sitting in the NEX parking lot waiting for the next car buff to PCS onto the island to buy, fix, and then register them.   I mean come on we have to have something positive to remind us of the glory days here at GTMO."

Guantanamo Bay Reduces Number of Working Windmills in Support of The Administration's Efforts to Prevent Cancer and Improve Bird Population

Only one of the Guantanamo Bay windmills atop John Paul Jones Hill worked recently supplying some of the power to the community.  Historically the naval station has operated no more than 3 of the 4 windmills at any given time.  Many residents have wandered why all 4 windmills have never worked at the same time.

Recent communications from the administration may begin to shed light on the reasons for these windmills operating less often.  President Trump during a recent speech stated that noise from windmills causes cancer and that windmills presented a grave danger to birds.    As far as the birds of Guantanamo Bay are concerned, 14 out of 15 species of birds that live in the Guantanamo Bay area are increasing in population according to the Handbook of the Birds of the World website.  Of these birds only the Bee Hummingbird is considered nearly threatened, a category that is considered level 2 with level 8 being extinct.

On the issue of cancer, reports have surfaced over the years of members of the community suffering from cancer.  These reports totally ignored the noise from the windmills as a possible cancer-causing agent.  We can only thank the thoughtfulness of this administration who seems to have decided that the noise from the windmills just isn't worth the safety and welfare of the people in the community.  The GTMO community should be grateful that they have such a caring humanitarian who supports both the preservation of animals and the elimination of a cause of cancer in our community.

Boeing Tries Out Software Upgrade For 737 Max on GTMO to NAS JAX Flight, Says Takeoffs Were Flawless

In a bit of good news for Boeing 737 Max customers, the flight software worked flawlessly on the recent takeoffs from Naval Air Station Jacksonville, and Guantanamo Bay Naval Station.  Boeing reported no incidents on either takeoffs.  A Boeing spokesperson reported, "Well we are now confident that we can send the final copy of the software to the FAA for their review.  We tested the software on a 737-800 out of NAS JAX and Navy Station Guantanamo Bay, and we are pleased to report that we completed 2 back to back takeoffs with complete success."  

In related news the 737-800 out of Guantanamo Bay reported a rough landing at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba on 3 May 2019, and then the same plane skidded off the runway when landing at NAS JAX.  When asked about the landings, the Boeing spokesperson said, "We take the safety of our aircraft seriously.  We will participate fully with the investigation just like we did in the Indonesia incident.  We won't rest until we get to the bottom of this problem, but did you see those takeoffs?"

GTMO Homeowner Arrested for Attacking Alleged Mango Pickers Who Ventured Close to His Mango Tree

The GTMO Shore Patrol said in a statement that they had arrested a GTMO Homeowner for attacking alleged mango pickers who had wandered close to a Mango tree near his domicile.  The GTMO homeowner attacked the would be Mango Pickers with a stash of unripened mangoes that he had collected just for this occasion.  When the SPs arrived, the homeowner reportedly was shouting, "This tree is in my yard and you can't just reach over my fence and grab my mangoes.  I already promised them to several people in my office.  How dare you!" 

When interviewed the homeowner's defense lawyer read a prepared statement.   "Our client has a reputation to uphold.  His friends at work know that he has a mango tree in his yard, and he would be seen as selfish if he didn't share his mangoes with them.  We plan to mount a vigorous defense to his right to withhold mangoes from strangers and his right to share them with his colleagues even if he didn't plant the original tree and will only remain in this house for another 6 months before moving on to his next duty assignment.  It's his GTMO given right."

Cuban Supreme Court Decides in Favor of Guantanamo Bay Unaccompanied Personnel in Recent Gerrymandering Case

    The Cuban Supreme Court recently handed down a decision that the GTMO Housing Office's gerrymandered unaccompanied housing was unconstitutional and required the Housing Office to redistrict their on post housing and make it more equitable for unaccompanied personnel.  During the case it was found that for years unaccompanied personnel deployed to Guantanamo Bay Naval Station had been assigned to the Boqueron district, a small Cuban town outside of the gate, in terms of rights to voting and housing.  Many unaccompanied personnel never even knew why they lived right next door to a married family in the same housing area yet were considered off post in the eyes of the local housing office.  The gerrymandering was so bad that often when a married couple moved out of a house and that house was given to an unaccompanied person, the house would immediately convert to the new housing district, and the tenant would then have to pay off post housing using their allowance. 

    Many of the unaccompanied personnel expressed relief and thanks for the decision.  One recently interviewed unaccompanied personnel had this to say, "I really cannot express my gratitude enough to the Cuban Supreme Court and whoever originally brought this case to their attention.  I knew that something was up when I always received excessive bills around Christmas time for my electricity while my married neighbors seemed to always get the same bill every month.  No one could ever explain why this happened.  We always thought that we had to pay extra during this time because of the extra Christmas lights on Christmas Tree Hill.  We never even considered that maybe we were paying for electricity in Boqueron.

   Members of the housing office have now redistricted the unaccompanied personnel into the same district as the BOQ which was one of the only places that had not been gerrymandered into the Boqueron district.  We did put in a request for the actual decision so that we could review the case and investigate who actually filed the original brief to have this case considered.  We received a file however the file was heavily redacted as is customary for cases involving GTMO, and the file mentioned no names in particular.